On sushi…

It is not a good idea to eat raw animals. When you get tape worm it is a pretty bad deal. It really messes up your intestines. Yea, some guy got tape worm from sushi. But, that is the least of my concerns, I just hate fish.

On Acid Rock…

That Alan guy from Microsoft likes acid rock that’s why he built the EMP and a shrine to Hendrix. I don’t call it acid rock; I call it rock n roll or blues rock. It is music with a bouquet; like Mozart.

The key to playing the guitar is
Cleanliness
Dexterity
And Emote

On Democrats…

Democrats, the mafia and labor unions- they are all one in the same.

On Cosmic Cleanings…

The aliens are cleaning the solar panels on the Mars Explorer to spoon feed us a new reality with aliens. They dust off the dust. I don’t know what kind of alien it is or how they do it; maybe with a broom duster thing or forced air, who knows... They don’t want to freak us out. That’s why they are cleaning our solar panels everyday.

On International Food...

I don’t understand why people like Indian food…all that curry. I mean I understand Chinese food; it’s good. But, I don’t see how people can eat Japanese food. All they eat is fish. Fish gives me the urge to regurge… It tastes too much like seafood…The only way fish is meant to be eaten is extremely processed and swimming in tarter sauce….

I like guacamole on my nachos!

On the Environment...

Yea, the movie the Day After Tomorrow is just a bunch of liberal propaganda; it's just junk science. Garbage countries pollute more than we do.

On Cleaning...

Yea, they have these water vacuum cleaners but they never really caught on. It sucks the dirt into the water then it bubbles like an industrial bong.

On Cooking...

If you took off Hillary Clinton's wig and blue contacts she would look like the lady who cut the baby out of that other ladies stomach. That's why she is always in disguise... You can buy egg separators that look like Hilary and Bill. You shake them up and the white part comes out their nose. If I'd known about them sooner I would have bought a lot of them and given them out at Christmas. Whoa, they are twenty buck, I'd pay three.

Mini-rant

Did you hear about the rock star who got shot? I’ve seen him in guitar magazines selling stuff…. I really don’t like his music…. But he has this one song; (sung while flailing arms ”Get up and I’ll shove you down, or something like that”) I like it, those are hard words, they should play it to amp up the Army; they play Metallica to torture the solders, Metallica got mad, terrorists hate western culture. I would go crazy if they tied me up and made me listen to rap music. I think I’d have to puke.

Inspirational

When I was a young teenager I had the great privilege of owning a beater nylon acoustic and I could noodle with Stairway to Heaven and a few more songs by Rush, but I don’t call it playing the guitar by any stretch, wasn’t until I was 29 until I got my Strat and began to practice guitar music, now I finally feel like I’m turning into a hot kick-ass player (even though attitude is my motivation). I’ve learned tons..., from hardware mods to playing technique, I’m always evolving.

Why people shouldn't play rap music...

Somebody is going to get mad….Somebody will stop them… soon someone will knock on the door and make them stop… Somebody is going to get mad...

On dining...

I don’t know what I’ll do if I have to eat another pork chop.

On the workplace...

I think I'll go crazy if don't get a window seat.

On religion...

Jesus was enhanced by the aliens.

On stardom...

It’s a blast man, all the world’s a stage man, and enjoy your 15 minutes as much as you can.

On Etiquette...

Yea I had dinner with some cannibals once, but they weren’t very nice; first they gave me the finger, then they gave me the cold shoulder.